Liberals Could Live Their Whole Lives Never

The Only Place Al Gore Conserves Energy These Days Is On The Treadmill. I Don't Want To Suggest That Al's Getting Big, But The Last Time I Saw Him On Tv I Thought, "that Reminds Me - We Have To Do Something About Saving The Polar Bears." Never Mind His Carbon Footprint - Have You Seen The Size Of Al Gore's Regular Footprint Lately? It's Almost As Deep As Janet Reno's.

Where There's Smoke Around A Conservative, There Are Journalists Furiously Rubbing Two Sticks Together.

Strom Thurmond The Only Segregationist Anyone Can Name. Meanwhile, The Democratic Party Had Former Klansmen, Members Of A Terrorist Group That Was Lynching And Murdering Black People. That Was An Outgrowth Of The Democratic Party.

The New York Times Editorial Page Is Like A Ouija Board That Has Only Three Answers, No Matter What The Question. The Answers Are: Higher Taxes, More Restrictions On Political Speech And Stricter Gun Control.

I Really Liked Deadheads And The Whole Dead Concert Scene: The Tailgating, The Tie-dye Uniforms, The Camaraderie It Was Like Nascar For Potheads.