Laughter Separates Us From Despair And Gives

I Am Probably A Pseudo-intellectual.

Scientists Say Over The Next Hundred Years, The Coast Of California Will Sink Almost Five Feet. So The Presidential Candidates Need To Do Something. Mitt Romney Is Conflicted. On One Hand, He Denies That Global Warming Exists. But If California Is Under Water, He Would Definitely Win The Next Election.

That's Why Credit Card Companies Are Evil. Are They Sponsoring The Show Tonight? ... They Are Evil.

Even A Chameleon Needs The Proper Amount Of Suction.

Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde Is A Metaphor For Alcoholism. He Drinks A Potion, Becomes A Monster. I Know Exactly How He Feels.