Laughter Is Just A Slowed Down Scream

Writers Tend To Consider Distinction And Originality As Virtues, But They Are Anathema To Publishers.

But The Toaster Was Quite Satisfied With Itself, Thank You. Though It Knew From Magazines That There Were Toasters Who Could Toast Four Slices At A Time, It Didn't Think That The Master, Who Lived Alone And Seemed To Have Few Friends, Would Have Wanted A Toaster Of Such Institutional Proportions. With Toast, It's Quality That Matters, Not Quantity.

Sometimes The Whole World Is Mud Luscious And Puddle Wonderful

But Before Any Of The Small Appliances Who May Be Listening To This Tale Should Begin To Think That They Might Do The Same Thing, Let Them Be Warned: Electricity Is Very Dangerous. Never Play With Old Batteries! Never Put Your Plug In A Strange Socket! And If You Are In Any Doubt About The Voltage Of The Current Where You Are Living, Ask A Major Appliance.

Poets Are Regarded As Handicapped Writers Whose Work Must Be Treated With A Tender Condescension, Such As One Accords The Athletic Achievements Of Basketball Players Confined To Wheelchairs.