Juno: Honest To Blog?

I Have Never Been An Ambitious Person, And My Participation In This Industry Is A Fluke, But Only Male Writers Can Afford To Be Coy And Self-deprecating.

Shoulda Gone To China. They Give Away Babies Like Free Ipods. They Put Them In Guns And Shoot Them Out At Sporting Events.

Of Course, The Strippers Also Take Pains Not To Appear Too Innocent, Valorous, Or Bookishly Inclined. (in Direct Opposition To The Swayze Mandate Of 1987, Everybody Puts Baby In A Goddamn Corner.)

The Rolling Stones Are So Versatile, They're Like The Band Version Of That Infinite Dress They Sell On Qvc.

I Just Go About My Life. I'm A Mom, I Drive An Suv, I Go To The Grocery Store Every Day. I'm Definitely Not A Celebrity. I Always Say That I'm A Celebrity-adjacent.