John Looked Ruddy And Plump, With A

To Bliss Unknown By Lofty Soul Aspires, My Lot Unequal To My Vast Desires.

When I Became Thoroughly Acquainted With The Greek And Roman Authors, I Thought It Incumbent Upon Me To Do Something Towards The Honor Of The Place Of My Nativity, And To Vindicate The Rhetoric Of This Ancient Forum Of Our Metropolis From The Aspersions Of The Illiterate By Composing A Treatise Of The Alercation Of The Ancients; Wherein I Have Demonstrated That The Purity, Sincerity, And Simplicity Of Their Diction Is Nowhere So Well Preserved As Amongst My Neighbourhood.

The Dumpling Is Indeed Of More Ancient Institution, And Of Foreign Origin; But Alas, What Were Those Dumplings? Nothing But A Few Lentils Sodden Together, Moisten'd And Cemented With A Little Seeth'd Fat.

Mathematical Knowledge Adds A Manly Vigour To The Mind, Frees It From Prejudice, Credulity, And Superstition.

Among The Innumerable Footsteps Of Divine Providence To Be Found In The Works Of Nature, There Is A Very Remarkable One To Be Observed In The Exact Balance That Is Maintained, Between The Numbers Of Men And Women; For By This Means It Is Provided, That The Species May Never Fail, Nor Perish, Since Every Male May Have Its Female, And Of A Proportionable Age.