John Kerry Met With Ralph Nader Last

According To A New Survey, 90% Of Men Say Their Lover Is Also Their Best Friend. Which Is Really Kind Of Disturbing When You Consider Man's Best Friend Is His Dog.

President-elect Barack Obama Is Starting To Get An Idea Of Just How Hard His New Job Is Going To Be. Today, He Said He Wanted To Bring A Sense Of Accountability To Washington. I Think They Realized Actual Accountability, Never Going To Happen.

Women Get A Little More Excited About New Year's Eve Than Men Do. It's Like An Excuse: You Drink Too Much, You Make A Lot Of Promises You're Not Going To Keep; The Next Morning As Soon As You Wake Up You Start Breaking Them. For Men, We Just Call That A Date.

Of Course, Republicans Still Can't Believe That Barack Obama Won The Nobel Peace Prize. But Then Democrats Can't Believe That Sarah Palin Wrote A Book.

Inauguration Security Was Tighter Than Kirstie Alley In A Pair Of Spandex Pants.