John Kerry Accused President Bush Of Catering

In A Speech Earlier Today President Bush Said If Iraq Gets Rid Of Saddam Hussein, He Will Help The Iraqi People With Food, Medicine, Supplies, Housing, Education - Anything That's Needed. Isn't That Amazing? He Finally Comes Up With A Domestic Agenda - And It's For Iraq. Maybe We Could Bring That Here If It Works Out.

Major Heat Wave In India - 122 Degrees Today. It Was So Hot People In India Were Sweating Like Americans Waiting To Hear If Their Job Is Being Outsourced To India.

Gas Stations Are Considering Hiring Security Guards. Why Are They Getting Security Guards? We're The Ones Getting Robbed.

You Could Do Anything In Your Room At College. You Could Smoke Pot, Live In A Coed Dorm, Have A Girl. But You Couldn't Have A . . . Hot Plate!

Former Vice President Al Gore Starring In A New Documentary About Global Warming. I Believe It's Called [leno Snores]. ... The Film Actually Features Al Gore And Explores His Journey On How He First Got Interested In Temperature Change. It Started Back When He Was Vice President. He Noticed How The Temperature Would Change, Like Whenever Bill Would Walk Into The Room, It Would Get Warm And Whenever Hillary Walked Into The Room, It Got Cold.