Jesus Was A Cross-dresser.

Most People Are Not Particularly Good At Anything.

And This Should Go Without Saying. That's Why I'm Going To Say It: Drinking And Driving Don't Mix. Do Your Drinking Early In The Morning And Get It Out Of The Way. Then Go Driving While The Visibility Is Still Good.

I Think We’re Part Of A Greater Wisdom That We Will Ever Understand; A Higher Order, Call It What You Want. Know What I Call It? The Big Electron. It Doesn’t Punish, It Doesn’t Reward, It Doesn’t Judge At All. It Just Is.

Hey! Who Stole My Collection Of Used Bandages?! And They Also Got Away With My Nude Pictures Of Ernest Borgnine!

The Golden Gate Bridge Should Have A Long Bungee Cord For People Who Aren't Quite Ready To Commit Suicide But Want To Get In A Little Practice.