Jas, Whatever Tom Has Under His Trousers

I Couldn't Believe It. It Was Unbelievable, That's Why. My Face Was Like A Frozen Fish Finger. All Rigid And Pale. (but Obviously Not With Breadcrumbs On It.)

When Mutti And Vati Came In I Didn't Speak To Them. I Just Unfurled The Cat Molesters Banner I Had Made.

He Had Everything A Dream Boy Should Have. Back, Front, Sides, Everything. A Head.

Maybe He Overreacted A Bit." - "a Bit? That's Like Hitler Saying, 'oooh, I Just Meant To Go For A Little Walk, But Then I Accidentally Invaded Poland".

Overslept And Had To Race To Get A Life To Jas’s With My Dad. No Time For Yoga Or Makeup. Oh Well, I’ll Start Tomorrow. God Alone Knows How The Dalai Lama Copes On A Daily Basis. He Must Get Up At Dawn. Actually, I Read Somewhere That He Does Get Up At Dawn.