Jacob: I've Never Seen So Much Manure.

Even When I Look Straight Into The Milky Blue Eyes I Can't Find Myself Any More. When Did I Stop Being Me?

After Sixty-one Years Together, She Simply Clutched My Hand And Exhaled.

Age Is A Terrible Thief. Just When You're Getting The Hang Of Life, It Knocks Your Legs Out From Under You And Stoops Your Back. It Makes You Ache And Muddies Your Head And Silently Spreads Cancer Throughout Your Spouse.

Sometimes I Think If I Had To Choose Between An Ear Of Corn Or Making Love To A Woman, I'd Choose The Corn.

...poking A Lump Of Red Jello That Jiggles Outrageously, Like A Breast I Once Knew.