I've Got The Attention Span Of A

Animals Are Not Here For Us To Do As We Please With. We Are Not Their Superiors, We Are Their Equals. We Are Their Family. Be Kind To Them.

The Best Way To Avoid Criticism Is Never Do Anything Ever. Or, Do What You Love, Have A Great Life & Let Others Spend Their Time Criticising.

If David Brent Is The Best Thing That I Ever Come Up With, Then So Be It. What Are You Supposed To Do, Time The Best Thing You Do For Just Before You Die?

In A Safe Western World Where We're Not Being Shot At And We're Not Starving, The Worst Thing That Happens To Us Most Days Is Someone's Rude To Us, Or We Accidentally Insult Someone. Social Faux Pas Is The Worst Thing That Happens To Most People, Most Days, So We've Got To Concentrate On That, Really.

I Don't Think A Comedian Should Even Be Concerned With Being Cool Or Sexy, As Soon As You Do, You Aren't A Comedian Any More. Looks Are Still The Most Important Thing For Women When It Comes To Meeting A Partner. And That's Fair Enough, But A Sense Of Humour Is Really Important Too. For Starters, It's A Great Indicator Of Whether You Are Going To Get On. If The First Time You Go On A Date You Don't Find Each Other Funny, There's A Fundamental Problem.