I've Decided That My Motto In Life

People Love To Be Told What They Know Already. It's Not So Much That What They Say Is Wrong, Though Ann Coulter Does Seem To Be Completely Crazy.

Bachelors Know All About Parties. In Fact, A Good Bachelor Is A Living, Breathing Party All By Himself. At Least That Is What My Girlfriend Said When She Found The Gin Bottles Under The Couch. I Believe Her Exact Words Were, "you're A Disgusting, Drunken Mess." And That's A Good Description Of A Party, If It's Done Right.

I've Decided That My Motto In Life Is "get Off My Lawn." It's The Right Answer To Everything.

Cleanliness Becomes More Important When Godliness Is Unlikely.

Only One Way To Cover A Story Like This, And Make That A Double, Bartender, Please.