I've Become The Person I've Always Hated,

She Wore A Short Skirt And A Tight Sweater And Her Figure Described A Set Of Parabolas That Could Cause Cardiac Arrest In A Yak.

The Baby Is Fine. The Only Problem Is That He Looks Like Edward G. Robinson.

To You I'm An Atheist; To God, I'm The Loyal Opposition.

The Talent For Being Happy Is Appreciating And Liking What You Have, Instead Of What You Don't Have.

My Parents Stayed Together For Forty Years. But That Was Out Of Spite.