I've Always Boxed, I Always Taught Boxing.

This Is Why The Terrorists Hate Us. And It's Not The Glitter And It's Not The Pomp And Circumstance. We've Got Black And White, We've Got Hispanic And Asian, We Got Gay, Straight, And Guttenberg, All Working Together For One Common Goal: To Get The Mirror Ball. And The Mirror Ball Doesn't Care What Color You Are, And It Doesn't Care How Rich Your Parents Are, And It Doesn't Care What God You Pray To. It's An Even Wooden Floor, And May The Best Man Or Woman Win. And I Say God Bless Dancing With The Stars, And God Bless The Usa.

I Don't Burn Any Calories Trying To Be Masculine; I Just Happen To Be From That World.

When You're Picking A Basketball Team, You'll Take The Brother Over The Guy With The Yarmulke. Why? Because You're Playing The Odds.

I Don't Have Anything Against My Mom, But My Family Has No Emotional Connection To Each Other.

When I Say Things That Sound Insane, Like Only The Smartest Million People Should Have The Right To Vote, Well, I Mean That.