It's Taken Me A Lot Of Years

Really, All Religious Teachings Can Be Boiled Down To: “just Be Cool. Don’t Be An Asshole.

I Learned As A Young Man That I Don't Write Jokes, But That I Can Deliver More Mundane Material And Get A Laugh. I Call Myself A Humorist.

I Really Thought That I'd Be Doing Shakespeare, Honest To God. I Did Not Foresee The Whole Action Television Thing. That Was God's Joke.

Jobs That Require A Suit Upset Me. They Displease Me Much, As Our World Is Rife With Such Superficial Conformity.

You Know, Even Working Actors Can End Up Having A Lot Of Spare Time. And You Can Either Go Sit At The Starbucks And Wait For Your Agent To Call You, Or You Can Go Learn How To Build A Shaker Blanket Chest With Hand-cut Dovetails.