It's Not As If Ten Years Ago,

My Goal In Life Is To Be As Happy As A Studio Audience.

People Treat Having A Kid As Somehow Retiring From Success. Quitting. Have You Seen A Baby? They’re Pretty Cute. Loving Them Is Pretty Easy. Smiling Babies Should Actually Be Categorized By The Pharmaceutical Industry As A Powerful Antidepressant. Being Happy Is Really The Definition Of Success, Isn’t It?

I've Been Doing Theaters Like The Warner For About A Year And We've Found The Earlier You Get The Tickets On Sale The Better Idea You Get On How Many Shows We Will Be Doing.

I'd Really Like To Promote My Increasing Consumption Of Bacon.

There's This Message To Comedians In Particular, That You Shouldn't Write It, And A Television Writer Should Write It. And That's A Prevailing Conventional Wisdom That I Think Is Really Wrong. That's Not To Say That Television Writers Aren't Great, But I Think That The Belief That Some Comedy Writer's Going To Be Able To Capture Your Voice Is Naive.