It's Nice To Be Short, Because People

When Your Children Arrive, The Best You Can Hope For Is That They Break Open Everything About You. Your Mind Floods With Oxygen. Your Heart Becomes A Room With Wide-open Windows. You Laugh Hard Every Day.

When I Had A Job Catering, I Catered A Wedding For The Smashing Pumpkins Bassist In Indiana. And I Served Billy Corgan Shrimp Off A Tray.

I'd Say Any Good Set Or Any Comedy That I've Worked On, That's Worked, Has Been Comedians Pitching Ideas Back And Forth To Each Other. A Lot Of Like, 'what If You Say This? What About This?'

I'd Like To Think That I Don't Have A Stock Character That I Go To. I'm Lucky In That When You Get To Initiate Your Own Scene, You Get To Play Whoever You Want. That's Really Kind Of Cool, But All My Characters Are Short. I Look On The Videotape, And I Thought They Were Taller, But They're All 5'2".

Career Is The Stringing Together Of Opportunities And Jobs. Mix In Public Opinion And Past Regrets. Add A Dash Of Future Panic And A Whole Lot Of Financial Uncertainty. Career Is Something That Fools You Into Thinking You Are In Control And Then Takes Pleasure In Reminding You That You Aren't. Career Is The Thing That Will Not Fill You Up And Will Never Make You Truly Whole.