It's An Insane World, And I'm Proud

England, Where No One Has Guns: 14 Deaths. United States...23,000 Deaths From Handguns. But - There's No Connection.

I Never Got Along With My Dad. Kids Used To Come Up To Me And Say, 'my Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad.' I'd Say 'yeah? When?'

What Did Moths Bump Into Before The Electric Light Bulb Was Invented? Boy, The Lightbulb Really Screwed The Moth Up Didn't It? Are There Moths On Their Way To The Sun Now Going, It's Gonna Be Worth It!.

I Got This Big Fear Of Doing Smoking Jokes In My Act And Showing Up Five Years From Now Goin' [puts Mic To His Neck And Speaks As If He Had A Mechanical Larynx] 'good Evening Everybody, Remember Me, Smoking's Bad. [puts Cigarette To Neck And Mimics Smoking It] Eeww. You Ever Seen Somebody Do That? I've Seen Someone Do That. Let Me Tell You Something — If You're Smoking Out Of A Hole In Your Neck [mimics It Again] I'd Think About Quitting. And That's Just Me, Ya Know.

While I've Found Many Of The Religious Shows I've Viewed Over The Years Not To Be To My Liking, Or In Line With My Own Beliefs, I've Never Considered It My Place To Exert Any Greater Type Of Censorship Than Changing The Channel, Or Better Yet - Turning Off The Tv Completely.