It's A Good Thing I Was Born

I Make Jokes About It, But It's The Truth That I Kind Of Patterned My Look After The Town Tramp. I Didn't Know What She Was, Just This Woman Who Was Blond And Piled Her Hair Up, Wore High Heels And Tight Skirts, And, Boy, She Was The Prettiest Thing I'd Ever Seen. Momma Used To Say, "aw, She's Just Trash," And I Thought, That's What I Want To Be When I Grow Up. Trash.

A Positive Attitude And A Sense Of Humor Go Together Like Biscuits And Gravy.

I Do Have Big Tits. Always Had 'em - Pushed 'em Up, Whacked 'em Around. Why Not Make Fun Of 'em? I've Made A Fortune With 'em.

I Have A Big Gay And Lesbian Following And They've Been Very Loyal And Kind To Me.

I'm A Proud Person. I'm Not Vain. I Look At It Like It Is. If You've Got The Money And You're Going To Be Out There, You Owe It To People Not To Look Like A Dog If You Can Help It.