It Warms The Cockles Of My Heart.

I Occasionally Go To A Yoga Class. Everyone Looks So Limber And Coordinated Compared To Me. I Feel Like I Scare My Classmates.

I'm Feeling Pretty Good. A Lot Of People Don't Know This, But I Am Not Currently In Prison, Which Feels Great.

I Am Not On Tumblr. I Can Barely Spell Tumblr. However, There Does Seem To Be Someone On Tumblr (who Copied My Reddit User Name) Who Is Apparently Trying To Impersonate Me. I Like The Idea That People Are Pretending To Be Me. I Spend Most Of My Time Pretending Not To Be Me.

Being A Father Is Like Directing Alien Or Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. It's Much More Difficult Than Directing An Episode Of Tv. Also, Directing A Show Or Movie Lasts A Few Months At Most, Parenting Lasts For Decades.

If God Is Watching Your Every Move, You Should Probably Straighten Up Your Act A Little Bit.