It Seems That Two Of The Most

Halloween: The Day Each Year When Strangers Give You Even More Specific Reasons To Dislike Them Based On What They Are Wearing.

When Watering Your Plants, Try To Talk To Them - Say Something Like, Hold It Right There And Then Shoot Them With Water Gun.

I Learned This Summer That Peeing In The Pool And Peeing Into The Pool Are Very Different Things. Location, Location, Location.

Your Mind Is Like A Sponge, In The Sense That It Would Come In Handy When Cleaning Off A Countertop Or Something Like That.

Multi-choice Question: My Dishwasher Is: Efficient; Hilarious.