It Is Day Two Of The Democratic

Denmark Is Charging A Fat Food Tax On Cheese, Meat, And Oil. Here, We Call That The Denny's Grand Slam Breakfast.

Barack Obama Spent His First Day As President-elect Putting Together His Transition Team. And If You Believe Msnbc, By Tomorrow He Will Have Chosen All 12 Of His Disciples.

A Pakistan Businessman Is Claiming That John Walker Lindh Is Gay And That He Was His Lover. Say What You Will About Lindh, But When This Guy Goes To Play For The Other Team - He Goes All The Way ... So Lindh May Be Both A Terrorist And A Gay Man. That May Be John Ashcroft's Worst Nightmare.

Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge Raised Security Alert To A Code Red. Apparently Howard Dean Has Escaped. Did You See Dean's Crazed Speech The Other Night, Yelling? I See Why His Wife Won't Campaign With Him. In Fact, Dean Has A New Slogan: 'aaghhhh.'

All I Ask Is That You Tip Your Waiters And Waitresses. We Have To Turn This Situation Around.