It Doesn't Matter If It's A School

When Choosing Sexual Partners, Remember: Talent Is Not Sexually Transmittable.

Thomas Jefferson—another Gorgeous White Boy Who Would Not Have Been Interested In Me. This Was My Problem In A Nutshell. To Get Some Play In Charlottesville, You Had To Be Either A Martha Jefferson Or A Sally Hemings.

I’ve Always Been Able To Tell A Lot About People By Whether They Ask Me About My Scar. Most People Never Ask, But If It Comes Up Naturally Somehow And I Offer Up The Story, They Are Quite Interested. Some People Are Just Dumb: 'did A Cat Scratch You?' God Bless. Those Sweet Dumdums I Never Mind. Sometimes It Is A Fun Sociology Litmus Test, Like When My Friend Ricky Asked Me, 'did They Ever Catch The Black Guy That Did That To You?' Hmmm. It Was Not A Black Guy, Ricky, And I Never Said It Was.

You Must Not Look In That Mirror At Your Doughy Legs And Flat Feet, For Today Is About Dreams And Illusions, And Unfiltered Natural Daylight Is The Enemy Of Dreams.

Pissing In Jars, They Had Never Been Handed A Fifteen-year-old Kotex Product By The School Nurse. But They Trusted Me And Paula, So I'm Proud To Say We Made