In These Tough Economic Times, Everybody Has

I'm A Worker. I Like To Work And I Like To Provide Work For Other People. I Like To Put People On My Show Who Normally Would Never Have A Chance At Being On Television.

... Some Of The Best Sex I Can Barely Remember.

At Some Point During Almost Every Romantic Comedy, The Female Lead Suddenly Trips And Falls, Stumbling Helplessly Over Something Ridiculous Like A Leaf, And Then Some Matthew Mcconaughey Type Either Whips Around The Corner Just In The Nick Of Time To Save Her Or Is Clumsily Pulled Down Along With Her. That Event Predictably Leads To The Magical Moment Of Their First Kiss. Please. I Fall All The Time. You Know Who Comes And Gets Me? The Bouncer.

I Didn't Become A Comedian To Work This Hard.

Adults End Up Shading Things And Shading The Truth, And You End Up Lying And Telling People What They Want To Hear.