In The Past, I Had Particularly Loved

She Was Struggling, As She Always Had Struggled, Not To Show What She Could Do But To Hide What She Couldn't Do. A Life Made Up Of Advances That Were Actually Frantic Retreats And Victories That Were Concealed Defeats.

What Is Law? Is It What Is On The Books, Or What Is Actually Enacted And Obeyed In A Society? Or Is Law What Must Be Enacted And Obeyed, Whether Or Not It Is On The Books, If Things Are To Go Right?

I Took All The Blame. I Admitted Mistakes I Hadn't Made, Intentions I'd Never Had. Whenever She Turned Cold And Hard, I Begged Her To Be Good To Me Again, To Forgive Me And Love Me. Sometimes I Had The Feeling That She Hurt Herself When She Turned Cold And Rigid. As If What She Was Yearning For Was The Warmth Of My Apologies, Protestations, And Entreaties. Sometimes I Thought She Just Bullied Me. But Either Way, I Had No Choice.

I Can't Say I'm Thankful About Being German Because I Sometimes Experience It As A Huge Burden. But It Is An Integral Part Of Me And I Wouldn't Want To Escape It. I Have Accepted It.

So I Was Still Guilty. And If I Was Not Guilty Because One Cannot Be Guilty Of Betraying A Criminal, Then I Was Guilty Of Having Loved A Criminal.