In The History Of Life, No Good

That's The Nice Thing About Doing Stand-up. There's No Development, You Just Go Out There And Get An Immediate Response As To Whether Something Is Good Or Bad. Getting A Laugh Is The Best Measure Of How Well You're Doing.

In Some Cultures They Don't Name Their Babies Right Away. They Wait Until They See How The Child Develops. Like In Dances With Wolves. Unfortunately, Our Kids' Names Would Be Less Romantic And Poetic. "this Is My Oldest Boy, Falls Off His Tricycle, His Friend, Dribbles His Juice, And My Beautiful Daughter, Allergic To Nuts.

There's Something Very Refreshing About Being On Stage.

When You're In @#*!#-ing Hell, Your Forehead Can Feel A Wee Bit Feverish. (by The Way, That's The Way My Wife Actually Curses. She Doesn't Use Dirty Words; She'll Literally Say "asterisk, Pound Sign, Exclamation Point, The-letter-'a'-with-a-circle-around-it, Asterisk, Asterisk, Asterisk.")

They're Not The Sharpest People - Babies. So, You Must Be Everything To Them.