I'm The Person Who Wouldn't Send Back

I'm So Humble It's Crazy. I'm Like The Kanye West Of Humility.

My Parents Got Married Late And They Had Kids Late, So I Never Felt A Social Or Cultural Thing To Be Married Or Pregnant Or A Homeowner By A Certain Age.

Can We Drop The Pretense Of Presidents Day And Just Call It I Needed A Long Weekend Because Valentines Day Is Garbage

The Most Common Thing That I Get Is, ‘am I The Only One Who Doesn’t Think That Anna Kendrick Is Pretty? And Youre Like, ‘no, You’re Not The Only One. Arguably, All Of The Boys In My High School Agree With You.’

Nobody Pulls A Prank Like George Clooney.