I'm The Happiest The Saddest Guy In

Im Sorry Im Not Gay Or Jewish, So I Dont Have A Special Interest Group Of Journalists That Support Me.

My Parents Were Dishonest People. If It Was My Birthday, I Knew My Mother Took Me To The K-mart And She Stole My Toy. She'd Put It In The Shopping Cart And We'd Walk Out. I Was Raised With That.

I Never Wanted To Be An Actor. I Never Want To Be An Actor. I Want To Be A Movie Star. The Whole Idea Of Having To Act Is Too Gruesome. It's Too Ambitious For Me.

My Parents Took An Interest In Nothing, At Home No Books, No Records. My Mother And My Father Are The Emblem Of Indifference, Dryness And Bad Taste. My Father Is Also Terribly Stingy, In Life As Well As In Feelings: I Have Never Seen Him Filling Up The Bathtub.

I Don't Drink Any Coffee Or Take Any Drugs And I Don't Smoke Cigarettes And I Don't Eat Sugar And I Don't Take Any Medicine At All. I Eat A Lot Of Fish, Vegetables, And I Stay Away From Starches.