I'm So Lucky To Have Been Raised

On An Awards-show Day, I Can Play Basketball, Go In, Take A Shower And Put On A Tux - It Takes Me Three Minutes To Put On A Tux - And Be Out The Door In 15 Minutes.

Growing Up During The Cold War Period, I Always Found That, Although We Always Thought That The World Would End In Some Sort Of Nuclear Holocaust, At Some Point, Everybody Was Pretty Hopeful.

If You’re Famous, I Don’t — For The Life Of Me — I Don’t Understand Why Any Famous Person Would Ever Be On Twitter. Why On God’s Green Earth Would You Be On Twitter? Because First Of All, The Worst Thing You Can Do Is Make Yourself More Available, Right?

I Don't Go On That Many Dates, Because The Truth Is, Anytime You Go Out In Public With A Girl When You're Well-known, There Are Pictures Of You Everywhere, And It's Like You're A Thing.

I'm The Least Metrosexual Cat You've Ever Met. I've Never Had My Fingernails Or Toenails Done, And I've Cut My Own Hair Longer Than Other People Have Cut My Hair.