I'm Sick Of People Saying I Hate

I Just Don't See How Anyone Can Hate America. I Mean, Crap, I Live There. What More Do You Need?

Is 'garden State' The Next 'citizen Kane'? Of Course Not. I'd Like To Think We Aimed A Little Higher Than That, Frankly.

Everyday I Question Myself. I Look In The Mirror, Or Read One Of My Scripts, Or I Reflect On My Acting And I Say To Myself 'that Was Good...but Was It Zach Braff Good?' Lets Just Say Things Have Been Looking Pretty Zach Braff So Far.

I Was Excited About The Dark Knight Until Heath Ledger Gave Away The Ending, Batman Always Wins.

Compared To My Talents, Whoopi Goldberg Is Like One Of Those Fake Plastic Buddhas You Get At Dollar Stores. I Mean Really, I Fail To See The Humor In An Overweight Negro Woman With Dreadlocks, No Eyebrows, And Is Named After A Childish Term For Flatulence.