I'm Really Trying Hard Not To Do

I Started As A Ventriloquist, A Very Bad Ventriloquist. And People Saw My Lips Moving And It Was Ridiculous, So Finally I Decided I'd Better Change My Occupation.

I Try To Help People Realize Their Dreams By Using Magic To Tell Stories That Educate, Move, And Inspire.

I Record That I Was Born (as I Have Been Informed And Believe) On A Friday, At Twelve O'clock At Night. It Was Remarked That The Clock Began To Strike, And I Began To Cry, Simultaneously.

Magic Was A Thing That, When I Did It, It Made All The Kids Go, "ah, That's Cool."

There Were Really A Bunch Of Old, Old Magic Hobbyists At The Time, Some Of Them Who Actually Had Known [harry] Houdini. You Had To Be 14 To Go To These Meetings, And He Snuck Me In At 12. It Was Glorious.