I'm Not Going To Say Who Looks

If We Lose Our Phones, We Lose Our Phone Books. You Don't Memorize Numbers Anymore.

When People Show Me Clothing That Seems Very, Very Feminine, It's Hard For Me To Embrace That, Because It Just Doesn't Feel Like Me.

If You Want To Test Cosmetics, Why Do It On Some Poor Animal Who Hasn't Done Anything? They Should Use Prisoners Who Have Been Convicted Of Murder Or Rape Instead. So, Rather Than Seeing If Perfume Irritates A Bunny Rabbit's Eyes, They Should Throw It In Charles Manson's Eyes And Ask Him If It Hurts.

Why Can't Rappers Just Say Nice Things? Like I Wanna Take Your Clothes Off And Hang Them Up In The Closet Real Nice.

My Cat, Ethel, Is An Indoor Cat But Somehow She's Sneakin' Out At Night. 'cause The Other Morning I Found A Stamp On Her Paw... I Wouldn't Have Noticed Myself, But I Just Bought This New Black Light And She Passed Right Under It And I Said, 'hey, What's That On You Paw?