I'm Not A Sex Symbol.

I Wanted To Be In Jim Carrey Comedy Movies Before I Met Him. I Wanted To Be A Comedian On Stage 19, Yukking It Up.

Marriage Is A Pretty Amazing Thing When You Think About It. For Two People To Live Together For So Long Under The Same Roof Is A Big Accomplishment. Fifty-year Anniversaries Are Becoming Extinct, Yet Again Proving That Long Marriages Deserve Awards And Praise. Sometimes I See Old People In Restaurants Sitting Together Eating Their Meals And I Watch Them. Sometimes It Makes Me Sad. They Don't Even Talk. Is It Because They Have Nothing Else To Say, Or Can They Simply Read Each Other's Mind By Now?

Let Me See If I Can Put This In Scientific Terms: Think Of Autism Like A Fart, And Vaccines Are The Finger You Pull To Make It Happen.

I Guess Now That I Think Back, I Used To Play Priest And Be A Funny Priest. I Don't Know, I Grew Up In Such A Catholic Family That I Kind Of Liked To Test The Boundaries A Little Bit And I Think I Had Fun Watching My Mom Laugh.

I Can't Even Begin To Tell You How Many Casting Couches I Was Attacked On. Not Just By Casting People, But By Stars. And When I Wouldn't Give Them My Number, They'd Say, "who The Hell Do You Think You Are? You Will Never Make It In This Town. I'll Make Sure Of It."