I'm Not A Gay Man, But I

I've Always Had Something In My Heart Where I Root For Guys Who Struggle With Women.

Thanksgiving, Man. Not A Good Day To Be My Pants.

You Think School Ends When It Ends, But It Doesn't.

Nobody Actually Ever Does This—escaping Through A Window.

Now I'm Starting To Jog. But Every Time I Do Jog I Have 9-1 Pressed Into My Phone, With The Next '1' Ready To Be Launched In Case I Drop.