I'm Nostalgic And I Do Think About

Yet Here We Are, Two Children And A Broken Promise Later, Standing Before Each Other, Just The Way We Stood That Day At The Alter, With Equal Parts Love And Hope. And Once Again, I Close My Eyes, Ready To Take A Leap Of Faith, Ready For The Long, Hard Road Ahead. I Have No Idea How It's Going To Turn Out, But Then Again, I Never Really Did.

Anxiety Was Not An Emotion I Could Ever Remember Feeling When I Went Out In New York, And I Wondered Why Tonight Felt So Different. Maybe It Was Because I No Longer Had A Boyfriend Or Fiance. I Suddenly Recognized That There Was Safety In Having Someone, As Well As A Lack Of Pressure To Shine. Ironically, This Had Cultivated A Certain Free-spiritedness That Had, In Turn, Allowed Me To Be The Life Of The Party And Hoard The Affection Of Additional Men....but That Had All Changed. I Didn't Have A Boyfriend, A Perfect Figure, Or Alcohol-induced Outrageousness To Fall Back On.

I Wondered Why I Was So Startled By The Encounter When There Was Something That Seemed Utterly Inevitable About The Moment. Not In Any Grand, Destined Sense; Just In The Quiet, Stubborn Way That Unfinished Business Has Of Imposing Its Will On The Unwilling.

Sorrow Comes With So Many Defense Mechanisms. You Have Your Shock, Your Denial, Your Getting Wasted, Your Cracking Jokes, And Your Religion. You Also Have The Old Standby Catchall—the Blind Belief In Fate, The Whole "things Happening For A Reason" Drill.

I Try To Write About Real Women, Real People - In Other Words Flawed Characters. I Find Flawed Characters Much More Interesting Than Perfect Ones And Enjoy The Challenge Of Making Readers Root For Them In Spite Of Their Unsympathetic Path And Destructive Choices. Life Is About The Gray Areas. Things Are Seldom Black And White, Even When We Wish They Were And Think They Should Be, And I Like Exploring This Nuanced Terrain.