I'm Keith," He Said, "and You're .

Why Are Americans So Fascinated By Ireland?" Keith Asked... "you All Think You're Irish. What's The Appeal? Do You Like The Accent More? Is It All The Magical Rocks? Oh, Look, A Lep­rechaun.

Were You Playing With Stuart?" She Asked. The Question Was Loaded. I Was A Filthy, Filthy Woman, And Even The Five-year-old Knew It.

We're Going To Die," Keith Said, The Moment He Was Gone. "this Man Is A Serial Killer. We're Going To Die, And He's Going To Bury Us In His Garden And Build A Shed On Us.

Go See Old Virgins! Now Ask A Strange Boy Out, You Shy, Retarded Thing!

He's Been In Love With Miss Gina Since High School, But He Doesn't Really Know How To Talk To Girls, So He's Just Been...staying Around Her Since Then. He Just Tends To Go Where She Goes." "isn't That Stalking?" Jazza Said. "legally, No," I Replied. "i Asked My Parents This When I Was Little. What He Does Is Creepy And Socially Awkward, But It's Not Actually Stalking.