I'm Jewish, But I'm Totally Not.

I Am 39 Years Old, And I Still Wake Up Every Morning Really Excited I Don't Have To Go To School.

If I Have Kids, I'll Adopt.

I Have No Religion. But Culturally I Can't Escape It; I'm Very Jewish.

I Remember My First Standup Act When I Was Seventeen; I Did A Really Lame Song About Being Flat Chested. I Was Doing It In New York, And I Remember Kevin Brennan, The Guy I Lost My Virginity To, Was Like "that Song Doesn't Make Sense, You Have Tits."

That Still Feels Like The Most Accurate Description - I Felt Homesick, But I Was Home.