I'm Having Trouble Warming Up To Mitt

An Anthropologist At Tulane Has Just Come Back From A Field Trip To New Guinea With Reports Of A Tribe So Primitive That They Have Tide But Not New Tide With Lemon-fresh Borax.

Newt Gingrich Says He Wants To Get Rid Of Social Security. Who Is More Qualified To Give This Country Financial Advice Than A Guy Who Ran Up A Half-million Dollar Bill At Tiffany?

Mitt Romney Is Not Going To Run For President. Mitt Said It's Time For Fresh Faces. So That's Good News For Bruce Jenner.

I Got Some Good News Earlier Today Before The Show. Thanks To Alex Rodriguez, I Am No Longer The Most Overpaid Disappointment In New York City.

Sarah Palin, Part-time Governor Of Alaska, Is Angry Because Michele Obama Is Encouraging Kids To Eat Healthy. Sarah Palin Believes The Government Shouldn't Tell Us What To Do. Sarah Palin Believes She Should Tell Us What To Do.