I'm Gonna Enjoy Being Old I Think

You Know, Your Whole Life You're Concerned About Money For This And That. And Then You Don't Have To Worry About It, So You Worry About Other Stuff.

Former President George W. Bush Released His New Memoir. By The Way, 'memoir' Is Just A Fancy Word For 'a Bunch Of Stuff That Happened To Me.

There Is A New Survey Out About The Happiest Professions. I Think The Whole Premise Is Flawed. You're Supposed To Find True Happiness Outside Of Work. From Friends, Family, And Youtube Videos Of Old People Falling Down.

There Is A New Bill In The Senate That Is Upsetting A Lot Of People. This Bill Would Give The President The Power To Shut Off The Internet. Al Gore Is Strongly Opposed To It. Not Because He Invented The Internet. Because He Did. But Because He Just Signed Up For Match.com.

Late Night Is No Different Than Making A Film, Really, Except That It's Faster, And If You Do A Crap One, You Can Do A Better One Tomorrow. Writing A Novel And Doing Stand-up - That Stuff Is Very Similar.