I'm Going To North Pole To Help

In A Two-hour Interview Last Friday, Bruce Jenner Told Abc's Diane Sawyer, 'for All Intents And Purposes, I'm A Woman.' At Which Point, Joe Biden Ran In And Started Giving Bruce A Shoulder Rub.

I Got Every Dan Shaughnessy Book Known To Man.

Time Magazine Interviewed Bill Clinton About The Current Presidential Campaign, And He Claimed He Had To Ask Hillary To Marry Him Three Times Before She Said Yes. Then Hillary Was Like, 'yeah. That Wasn't Me.'

Over The Weekend It Came Out That The U.s. Has Been Listening In On German Chancellor Angela Merkel's Cellphone Since 2002. At This Point, I Feel Like The Only World Leader Our Government Doesn't Listen To Is President Obama.

You Only Think Of The Best Comeback When You Leave.