I'm Dylan. I'm So Cool. I Want

For Thousands Of Years, You Humans Have Been Throwing In Everything As You Come Across--hopes, Dreams, Wishes That Never Came True. Irresponsible Waste Management, If You Ask Me.

He Looked Like Those Paintings Of Baby Angels - What Do You Call Them, Hubbubs? No Cherubs. That's It. He Looked Like A Cherub Who'd Turned Middle-aged In A Trailer Park.

I Tried To Imagine How Things Could Get Much Worse. The Gods Were In The Midwest Fighting A Huge Monster That Had Almost Defeated Them Once Before. Poseidon Was Under Siege And Losing A War Against The Sea Titan Oceanus. Kronos Was Still Out There Somewhere. Olympus Was Virtually Undefended. The Demigods Of Camp Half-blood Were On Our Own With A Spy In Our Midst. Oh, And According To The Ancient Prophecy, I Was Going To Die When I Turned Sixteen—which Happened To Be In Five Days, The Exact Same Time Typhon Was Supposed To Hit New York. Almost Forgot That.

All Invincible And Stuff

Warning: The Following Is A Transcript Of A Digital Recording. In Certain Places, The Audio Quality Was Poor, So Some Words And Phrases Represent The Author's Best Guesses. Where Possible, Illustrations Of Important Symbols Mentioned In The Recording Have Been Added. Background Noises Such As Scuffling, Hitting, And Cursing By The Two Speakers Have Not Been Transcribed The Author Makes No Claims For The Authenticity Of The Recording. It Seems Impossible That The Two Young Narrators Are Telling The Truth, But You, The Reader, Must Decide For Yourself.