I'm Actually About As Famous As A

Nothing Can Make Me Feel Better Now, Except Cocaine.

I Do Pauses, Pauses Work For Me

Shame Is One Of The Greatest Aphrodisiacs In The World, Anyway, Built Into Religion.

What Are Children Anyway? Midget Drunks. They Greet You In The Morning By Kneeing You In The Face And Talking Gibberish. They Can't Even Walk Straight.

You Have To Assume That You're Talking To The Most Intelligent, Tuned-in Audience You Could Ever Get. That's The Way You're Going To Get The Best Out Of People. Whether They Know You Or Not Shouldn't Matter For Comedy. They Should Get To Know You Pretty Quickly. And They Should Be Having A Good Time Pretty Quickly.