I'm A Quitter. I Come From A

I Really Can't Describe What My Stand-up Is Like - People See It And They Say It's Like That, Or It's Like This, And That's Really Up To Them, That's Fine, But I Don't Sit Around All Day Analysing It. I Just Try And Enjoy A Show And Interest Myself Because If I Don't Do That Then I Won't Interest Anybody Else.

There Are Two Types Of Wine Essentially, And Everybody Knows This. There's The One Where You Drink It And Go, "mmmm, Well That's Ok, Can We Get 8 Of Those Please, Give Us 8 Of Those." There's The Other One, You Know, Where You Go "ga... Bt... Jesus, What Is That?" Very, Very Occasionally I Concede You Will Hit A Subtle One. You Know, Where You Go "ga... Ba... Ah, Actually That's Not That Bad, That Is. It's Quite Nice."

You Exaggerate Your Own Reactions.

Religion Is The Yeast Of Death Cakes. It Is The Most Awful Agent On A Vulnerable Mind. It's The Refuge Of Alienated And Lonely People. It's What People Had Before Television. It Yokes People Together Into An Imaginary World. It Is Just People Talking To Their Imaginary Friends, At Length. I Wouldn't Mind, But Some Of The People Are World Leaders.

I Fear We Might Be Losing The Basic Human Facility To Be Alone - And With That You Throw Out Independent Decision-making, What To Trust, What Not To Trust; Key Stuff - A Perilous Loss.