I'm A Farmer Now, And It's Fantastic.

I Am An Observant Jew! Now My Secret Is Out.

Part Of My Platform Is, Of Course, The Guilty Must Be Punished And That We No Longer Let Our Children See Their Guilty Leaders Getting Away With Murder. Because It Teaches Children, You Know, That They Don’t Have To Have Any Morals As Long As They Have Guns And Are Bullies And I Don’t Think That's A Good Message. . . . I Do Say That I Am In Favor Of The Return Of The Guillotine And That Is For The Worst Of The Worst Of The Guilty.

Being Hated And Hunted And Blamed For Your Own Suffering Makes People Kind Of Testy, Nervous, And On Edge, And Often Fundamentalist And Extreme. Bombs Get Thrown Only When People Cannot Honestly Talk Together.

My Daughter Made Me A Jerry Springer-watching Kit, With Crackers, Cheez Whiz, Polyester Stretch Pants And A T-shirt With Two Fat Women Fighting Over A Skinny Guy.

A Lot Of Times Nerds Are Really Artists Listening To The Beat Of Another Drummer.