I'll Instinctively Know That I Identify With

Willie Mays Was The Best Ever. When I Was In College I Once Made A Catch Like The One Mays Made Over His Head. Sometimes When I'm Lying In Bed At Night I Think About It. It Still Makes Me Warm.

Most Journalists Expect Me To Answer All Their Questions About Aliens And Spaceships.

I'm Always Trying To Perfect The Romantic Comedy, Though.

I'm The One Usually Wearing The Dress, Which Is What I Would've Preferred, But They Wouldn't Let Me. It's Been 15 Years Since I Did That And My Ass Isn't As Good As It Used To Be.

People… They Don’t Write Anymore – They Blog. Instead Of Talking, They Text, No Punctuation, No Grammar: Lol This And Lmfao That. You Know, It Just Seems To Me It’s Just A Bunch Of Stupid People Pseudo-communicating With A Bunch Of Other Stupid People In A Proto-language That Resembles More What Cavemen Used To Speak Than The King’s English.