If You Wish To Kill Yourself But

I Think We're All Born With A Sense Of Humor. Creativity Is Another Thing Though.

Loving Your Neighbour As Much As Yourself Is Practically Bloody Impossible? You Might As Well Have A Commandment That States,'thou Shalt Fly'.

Other People, You Know, Put A Latex Rubber On, You Know, To Become Sexually Excited. There's So Much I Don't Understand.

I Started To Make Harder Jokes Before Anyone Else Did. And The Producers Would Get Anxious. They'd Say, 'that's A Little Bit Hard-edged, Isn't It?' And I'd Say, 'let's Just Try It And See How The Audience Reacts. If They Don't Like It, Let's Cut It Out.' And The Audience Roared With Laughter, So I Learned You Could Do This Harder Humor And People Loved It.

I Wish You Wusses Would Stop Whining About Your Unhappiness. I'm Really Fed Up With It. Pour Yourself A Scotch And Pull Yourself Together. Go Out And Shoot Something!