If You Want To Catch Trout, Don't

A Cigarette Is A Roll Of Paper, Tobacco, And Drugs, With A Small Fire On One End And A Large Fool At The Other. Some Of Its Chief Benefits Are Cancer Of The Lips And Stomach, Softening Of The Brain, Funeral Procesions, And Families Shrouded In Gloom And Grief. Although A Great Many People Know This, They Still Smoke In Order To Appear Sophisticated.

In Recent Years, There Have Been Reports Of People With Twisted Minds Putting Razor Blades And Poison In Taffy Apples And Halloween Candy. It Is No Longer Safe To Let Your Child Eat Treats That Come From Strangers.

All Marriages Are Happy, It's Living Together Afterward That's Tough.

Imagine You Had A Bank That Each Morning Credited Your Account With $1,440 - With One Condition: Whatever Part Of The $1,440 You Failed To Use During The Day Would Be Erased From Your Account, And No Balance Would Be Carried Over. What Would You Do? You'd Draw Out Every Cent Every Day And Use It To Your Best Advantage. Well, You Do Have Such A Bank, And Its Name Is Time. Every Morning, This Bank Credits You With 1,440 Minutes. And It Writes Off As Forever Lost Whatever Portion You Have Failed To Invest To Good Purpose.

The Poor Wish To Be Rich, The Rich Wish To Be Happy, The Single Wish To Be Married, And The Married Wish To Be Dead.