If You Want Something Badly Enough, You

If You Never Left Anything Or Anyone There Would Be No Room For The New. Naturally, To Move On Is An Infidelity -- To Others, To The Past, To Old Notions Of Oneself. Perhaps Every Day Should Contain At Least One Essential Infidelity Or Necessary Betrayal. It Would Be An Optimistic, Hopeful Act, Guaranteeing Belief In The Future -- A Declaration That Things Can Be Not Only Different But Better.

I Am Determined To Live Without Illusions. I Want To Look At Reality Straight. Without Hiding.

Watching Jamila Sometimes Made Me Think The World Was Divided Into Three Sorts Of People: Those Who Knew What They Wanted To Do; Those (the Unhappiest) Who Never Knew What Their Purpose In Life Was; And Those Who Found Out Later On. I Was In The Last Category, I Reckoned, Which Didn't Stop Me Wishing I'd Been Born Into The First.

Almost Certainly I Will Not Tell Her My Intentions This Evening Or Tonight. I Will Put It Off. Why? Because Words Are Actions And They Make Things Happen. Once They Are Out You Cannot Put Them Back.

Secrets Are My Currency: I Deal In Them For A Living. The Secrets Of Desire, Of What People Really Want, And Of What They Fear The Most. The Secrets Of Why Love Is Difficult, Sex Complicated, Living Painful And Death So Close And Yet Placed Far Away. Why Are Pleasure And Punishment Closely Related? How Do Our Bodies Speak? Why Do We Make Ourselves Ill? Why Do You Want To Fail? Why Is Pleasure Hard To Bear?