If You Hit A Midget On The

This Sounds Like A Brag, But I Know How To Make Good Fried Rice. I Learned In College. There Are Two Secrets - Take The Rice After You Cook It And Let It Get Cold In The Fridge. Then Cook The Egg Like You're Making A Fried Egg And Just Before It's Done, Dump The Rice And Veg On It And Swirl It Around.

Every Zombie Story Is Fundamentally About A Breakdown Of Order, With The Infrastructure Intact. That Infrastructure Might Be On Fire, Yes.

We Would Not Be Here If Humanity Were Inherently Evil. We'd Have Eaten Ourselves Alive Long Ago.

Beyond Any Role That I Ever Had, Really Early On As A Stand-up, I Would See Actors Decide To Try It And They Would Bomb Miserably. What I Realized Was That Stand-up, Acting And Writing Are All Their Own Disciplines.

I Have To Drink This Much To Be As Unfunny As You.