If You Have To Say “no Offense”

Jesse, Who Had Not Stirred The Whole Time From The Spot He'd Been Standing, Confident I Could Handle Cheryl Myself, Was Grinning. "it's Every Girl's Dream To Guy To Go To Prom With The Guy She Loves?" He Echoed, Not Just One, But Both Inky Black Eyebrows Raised. "don't Start With Me," I Said. I Tried To Hide My Suddenly Flaming Cheeks By Scraping Away What Was Left Of The Cannolis, And Replacing Them With The Contents Of An Upended Bag Of Chocolate Chip Cookies. "i Have Things To Do.

Do Not Chase Boys. Chasing Boys Is Bad. Chasing Boys Can Lead To Horrible Things Like Mansions Going Up Into Flames, Hand Amputations, And Blindness. So Have Some Self Respect And Don't Let Things Get Too Far Before The Wedding Day.

I Think If I Hadn't Been A Writer, I'd Have Been A Teacher Like My Dad. He Was A College Professor, And One Of My Greatest Regrets Is That He Passed Away Before I Was Able To Prove To Him That I Wasn't Going To Be Stuck Working At Rax Roast Beef For The Rest Of My Life!

But Things Were Different Now. I Finally Had My Head -pun Intended- On Straight.

It’s My Own Fault, Really. For Believing In Fairy Tales. Not That I Ever Mistook Them For Actual Historical Fact, Or Anything. But I Did Grow Up Believing That For Every Girl, There’s A Prince Out There Somewhere. All She Has To Do Is Find Him. Then It’s On With The Happily Ever After. So You Can Only Imagine What Happened When I Found Out. That My Prince Really Is One. A Prince. No, I Really Mean It. He’s An Actual Prince.